I met someone I really like. We've been going out for the last couple months. There's only one problem: I always basically crossed smokers off of my list of people I'd be willing to go out with. In this case I didn't know until I came over to his apartment for the first time at which point what am I going to say? Besides, at that point I already decided I liked him. I'm having a bit of a mental battle over this because I haaaate smoking. I find it absolutely vile. However, when I think about it, if you really like someone isn't it kind of silly to count them out because of it?
He's not a heavy chain smoker and I guess he hates that he smokes. He says he's tried to quit but that he's addicted.
Maybe there's something I can do to help be supportive? I like him a lot and would be ecstatic if he could kick the habit. That's the only thing that gives me pause. His clothes don't even smell like him, they smell like smoke.
Guy smell is one of the best parts of being in a relationship, cuddling, and possessing stolen articles of clothing e. Do you think there's anything I might be able to do to help him kick the habit? If he's already disdainful of the practice do you think there's hope? Any smokers here quit? What did you do? AlexMogil Member Jan 7, Aug 6, 10, 0 She still smokes one or five a day. It's not a huge deal except I wish she'd stop for her health. I've tried to help her and she does fine for a while but the social pull really gets her back in the habit.
Oct 12, 9, 0 0 Sweden. Apr 17, 5, 1 0. Have you expressed to him that you are vehemently against smoking and the reasons why? If he hates it then it's worth talking about and seeing if you can provide support for him to stop. As far as stopping not sure what to suggest. I was never addicted to it as far as I know, stopped cold turkey for months at a time and would do it on occasion or in a certain social setting a handful of times a year at this point.
You can try and see if he could transition to vaporizers.
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NickatNite Member Jan 7, Jul 16, 1, 0 0 California. Non smoker here and would and have never date anyone who does smoke. Dec 17, 6, 0 0 Ontario, Canada. Yup, didn't mind at all. I actually find it kind of sexy. Sep 28, 19, 0 0 Chicago. If you can't shame them into reality I would strongly consider dropping them unless you are already attached.
May 11, 4, 0 0. I made out with a smoker once and it just tasted awful. I'm wondering how you couldn't tell in his breath? Unless he smokes fairly infrequently. Feb 1, 15, 0 0 Liverpool. I am an ex smoker who recently quit with help from friends and GF, so you can try my advice. If he's not a chain smoker then it'll be easy for him to quit if he wants to with some support, and this is where you come of course. I smoked for about a year and half started summer , but didn't become regular cigarettes everyday kind of smoker until December , and for the past four months I tried to quit but I couldn't or rather I never really tried seriously as I would stop for a day and then buy a new pack the other day.
The girl I am with right now hates smoking but she didn't care if I smoked, she used to say "most of the people in my family smokes, even my grandfather who I love the most". I started to avoid smoking when she was around and even when I was with her I'd only smoke away from her and won't do it much she would know about it, it's just that I didn't wanted her to see me smoking. Then last month I just said alright I've enjoyed smoking enough and I stopped smoking, it was hard-ish for days but now I don't even think about it and it's been a month.
The point to remember is that I wasn't a heavy smoker, I only smoked 5 a day on an average if I went out with friends in the evening then I would end up with a day, but I don't go out much and I hadn't been smoking for long. So with support from my friends and knowing that my girl disliked it, I was able to overcome the urge to pick it up again. Don't shame him or make him feel terrible for smoking, smokers become defensive when you do that. Instead try to chat in a way so that you come to a conclusion where they say they want to quit and you help them off from there start it off with something like, you think you can try quitting once again?
Have some sort of small reward for every week or forthnight they go without smoking could be anything, you think of it yourself My ex flatmate used to be a chain smoker and a pothead, and he started when he was 14 he's 23 now , but he went cold turkey for everything 3 years ago and since then he hasn't looked back.
He occasionally smokes like one or two cigarettes in two three months or more and that's about it, but that's nothing. The Albatross Member Jan 7, Apr 15, 25, 2 0. One of the reasons I dumped her, also because she was a complete jerk, but that didn't help things. My current GF is an occassional smoker who's trying to quit. Similarly, I dislike it, but I don't harangue her for it.
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She doesn't smoke often, but I don't like it when she does It's like, we're at a party and she's like "Do you mind if I have a cigarette..?? I usually just say "you're your own boss, do what you want. She basically just wants approval to make it seem like smoking cigarettes is okay. Barrylocke Member Jan 7, Nov 26, 4, 0 I'm not speaking as someone whose ever been in a serious relationship, so take this with a grain of salt. But while I can see a potential mate being a smoker as a major turnoff and would prefer that they not, I don't think it could be an end all if we were compatible in other ways I find more important.
Granted, I would definitely be supportive of any wishes they have of quitting, and Nov 6, 26, 0 0. Thought they would quit eventually but it became clear they had no interest. Brakke Banned Jan 7, Jan 21, 16, 0 0 www. Don't try to change him. Help support him to quit if he asks you to. But date the person he is, not the person you want him to be. Dec 11, 33, 0 0 Bay Area plus.
Dating Someone who's a Heavy Smoker
DrFunk not licensed in your state Jan 7, Jan 31, 19, 0 0 Planet Lovetron. Bomber Bob Banned Jan 7, May 29, 7, 1 0. Yes had a nasty vag tho. John Kowalski Banned Jan 7, Oct 31, 30, 0 0 among the creatures of the night.
Sobriquet Member Jan 7, Jan 11, 10, 0 0 Los Angeles, CA. ScottSullivan Member Jan 7, Mar 19, 5, 0 0. My wife smokes, it sucks and I wish she would quit. Then I'm the jerk for getting mad when I have to freeze so she can smoke with the window open lol. DarkKyo Member Jan 7, Apr 4, 15, 1 0. My gf was a casual smoker maybe 1 a day or a few a week before we were dating but she was able to stop right when we started dating.
Dec 28, 29, 1 0. Non-smoker here and while I haven't dated someone who smokes, it would be an instant deal breaker for me.
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I personally find the smell revolting and the habit disgusting, but that's probably the product of growing up with parents who did smoke. I have nothing against smokers, but I'm not sure I could handle being around a smoker for a considerable portion of my day. Reizo Ryuu Member Jan 7, Jan 12, 7, 97 Instant turn off, I could never be in a relationship with a smoker. Mitch Member Jan 7, Jun 26, 1, 0 0 Houston. She surprisingly never smelled of cigarettes.
Breath was fine too.
May 23, 18, 0 0. Sep 28, 33, 2 0 www. Blackstarhat Member Jan 7, Mar 19, 2, 0 0. My bf is a smoker when we first started dating I didnt smoke but now i do. May 25, 6, 9 1, I have dated a smoker. I'm not a fan and would rather date a non-smoker. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer so I don't like cigarettes.
BlazingDarkness Member Jan 7, May 2, 23, 0 0. I was a smoker when I met my boyfriend. I quit the day he told me he doesn't like smokers on our first date - haven't smoked since.